alone: memoir of a hanyou
by GOTA-93
Summary: the reason inuyasha despises his youth and his human night. dark overtone. do not read if you dont like sad stuff. rated M cuz im scared. and violence... may or may not continue.


Alone , an Inuyasha fanfiction

Inspired by Numb by Linkin Park

"_she was my mother…she was the only one in the world that I had. She was the only one that loved me. If anything ever happened to her, I didn't know what I would do. Little did I know, that question would answer itself…"_

Izayoi ran through the frozen forest, away from the blazing inferno that used to be her home. Clutching in her arms, was a wailing, newborn baby. But this was no ordinary infant, it was what was called a 'hanyou'; a half human, half demon child. she ran as fast as she could with her child in her arms.

'don't look back…don't look back…' izayoi chanted to herself.

Soon, she came across a nearby village. She ran straight to the headman's house, where she knew she would find refuge. The village headman and her father were friends, so she knew that he would give her a place to stay for a while.

"LORD ISHIWAKI!" Izayoi cried in a hoarse voice.

A light was lit inside of the great house and ishiwaki, his wife and his servants came running from the inside.

"lady izayoi! What on earth are you doing here?!" lord ishiwaki asked

Izayoi dropped to her knees and began to sob. "please…help me…"

Eight months had passed since the fateful night of Inuyasha's birth. Izayoi went to live with her relatives not far from where she lived. He was soon a year old and had grown in leaps and bounds. Izayoi loved him deeply and treasured him. But other members of the household did not hold the same affection. Even the servants began to treat lady izayoi and her child with contempt. There were only two in the household that still treated her and herson with kindness: her sister Ina and the old cook who was a companion of izayoi's since she was small. No one else in the palace respected her or treated her as she was before Inuyasha's conception.

Izayoi had just put Inuyasha down to sleep and was going out to get some fresh air. She requested that one of the maids put some towels and cloths in the room so that she could change him when he awoke. The maid nodded and softly padded into the room. When she was out of izayoi's sight, her face took on a furious scowl. She crept into the room and took one of the cloths and twisted it. She eyed the sleeping infant and bent down beside him. She wrapped the cloth around Inuyasha's tiny neck and pulled it as hard as she could. Inuyasha's eyes snapped open at the sudden interruption of his peaceful slumber. The old maid smiled evilly and chanted, "hush little baby, don't say a word; don't make a sound until you leave this world!" baby Inuyasha made desperate gasping sounds, his tiny lungs seeking air. Izayoi came back in with her sister Ina to check on her slumbering son, but screamed a deafening scream when she saw what was unfolding.

"NOOOOO! STOP IT! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Izayoi wailed as she and Ina tried to pull the maid off of the small child. ina grabbed a large wooden bucket and began to beat the old woman until blood leaked from her head and her grip loosened. Izayoi ran to her child, who was now wailing quite loudly. She cradled and cooed to him. Ina was furious with the woman and pulled her up yelling at her furiously. The old woman begged and begged for forgiveness, but Ina would not relent. She backed her up toward the balcony, and when the old maid was near the edge, Ina pushed her over the side. A shriek pierced the air, but seconds later was cut off.

"Ina! You killed her!" izayoi gasped.

"shhhh…" Ina hushed. "no one will know." Ina said, peeking over the edge of the balcony and watching the soldiers gather where a broken, bloodied corpse lay.

When Inuyasha was about 10 years old (five years in demon age) he sat by his mother in a dark room. His mother had contracted a deadly disease that had already taken the lives of her and her sister and a couple of other servants. Inuyasha knowing the situation, but trying to be cheerful and optimistic said, "mother, come play *kemari with me…"

"im terribly sorry, dearest. Im afraid I cant right now. I don't even think I can get up…" izayoi said weakly.

"yes you can, get up!" Inuyasha urged.

Izayoi tried with all of her might to rise, but fell back down when her head started spinning.

"im so sorry my dear. I promise that I will play kemari with you some other time." Izayoi said.

"alright." Inuyasha moaned.

"Inuyasha…" izayoi whispered.

"yes mother?" Inuyasha said.

"im so sorry…im so sorry that your father and I brought you into this cruel, cruel world. I promised when you were a newborn that I would protect you with my life and that I will never leave you…and I still intend to keep that promise. Just remember, Inuyasha…I will always be with you, even when you cant see me…" izayoi whispered.

"what do you mean if I cant see you…I'll always be able to see you!" Inuyasha's voice began to squeak as he tried to choke back tears.

"my body may not be here when you are older, but my spirit will always be with you, my darling…" izayoi whispered touching her son's face. A tear escaped from his eyes and stared into his mother's with a sad longing. The sparkle had left her and he knew her time in his life was drawing to a close.

"come darling…I'll sing you your lullaby." Izayoi offered. Inuyasha crawled into the bed with his mother and let her sing softly to him as she petted his head. Soon, the words became quieter and quieter until they ceased altogether. Inuyasha heard the last breath escape her lips. Inuyasha froze, waiting to see if she would take her next breath. He waited all night, lying next to her cold body. The next day, servants came in to take away her body. Inuyasha made no protest. He merely followed behind the funeral procession in silence.

It was the night of the new moon and Inuyasha was at his mother's grave with a small candle light by his side. He had gathered the prettiest flowers he could find and placed them on her grave. It was a cold winter night, much like the night he was born.

"mother…I miss you…" he whispered.

The old cook stood at the door watching the small boy and sighed sadly to himself.

'this is awful…now the young lord is all alone in this world…'

He turned to go back to his quarters, but as he went, he heard a commotion in the room at the end of the hall. Curious he crouched quietly by the door and listened.

"tonight is the night." Said the first voice.

"yes. Izayoi is dead and so is her sister. That demon is alone now and no one can stop us." Said another.

"oh how I have waited for this night! To avenge the honorable lord Takemaru's death and the humiliation to his lordship's family by having his daughter be a whore for a demon!" said a third.

"where is the little bastard?" said the first voice.

"the last time I saw him, he was at his mother's grave out back." Said the third voice.

"excellent, gather the guards outside. He is the son of that demon, so he will not go down easily; half demon or not." Said the first voice again.

"but this is his night of vulnerability, it will be much easier!" said the second voice.

"I know. But just in case." Said the first.

Outside the room, the cook shook with fear. 'OH NO! THE YOUNG LORD IS IN DANGER!' suddenly, the shoji opened and sent the cook scrambling.

"THE COOK! SOMEONE, SEIZE HIM!" said the first nobleman.

The cook ran as fast as his aged legs could carry him, outside to the family cemetery where Inuyasha still was.

"YOUNG LORD! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" screamed the cook.

"what is it, cook?! Is there something wrong?!" Inuyasha asked, standing up in his geta sandals and socks to protect him from the cold.

"THERE IS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! JUST RUN! RUN TO THE FOREST! RUN TO MUSASHI! JUST RU—" A splashing sound cut his cries short as Inuyasha watched the blade of a sword emerge from his chest. Inuyasha stood in absolute shock as the last ally he had was murdered before him.

"finally, some peace and quiet. That old man was starting to get on my nerves…. Said the first nobleman.

"but its going to be much quieter when we send you away." said the second nobleman.

"w-wh-where am I going?" Inuyasha asked.

"oh nowhere far. Just follow this path…" the first nobleman traced his fingers along the blade of his sword and chuckled sinisterly.

"follow the path down to the hilt of my blade…and you will be there shortly…" he whispered.

Inuyasha trembled with fear, not able to move. The noblemen began to laugh.

"hey Chokichi, I think the little hanyou is cold!" said the third nobleman.

"heheheh, it wont be cold where he is going…" said the second nobleman.

Inuyasha took a step back. He had never fought anyone before. he knew that they could possibly beat him. But something else crossed his mind that he knew he would be able to do:

Run.

He turned heels and sprinted out the graveyard, his executioners, hot on his tail. Soon he heard shouts from around him and the sound of horses. His eyes wide in panic, ran even faster. He knew that in this form that he would not be able to outrun his pursuers. He looked down at his feet and saw his getas and shook them off. He was now only running in his socks on the snowy ground. It was so cold and windy, that his eyes began to tear. The horsemen were getting closer and closer, so Inuyasha ran harder and harder. His heart beat in his chest like a drum, his breath ragged as a worn cloth. Finally, the horsemen caught up to him and one whacked him with a club, sending him flying into a tree. They dismounted and gathered around him. The stomped and punched the boy in the stomach, chest and head. Inuyasha let out pained, desperate cries, which only prompted them to hit him more.

After what seemed like an eternity of merciless beating, his assailants left him for dead.

"rest in pieces, half breed." Said a soldier, spitting on his unconscious body.

Blood had thoroughly soaked his scalp, his ribs were all broken. His breath left his body. For the first time, he sat at death's door. A bitterly cold wind blew through the trees where a tall figure stood.

"pitiful. Simply pitiful." Said the man. Tall and elegant looking, it was no other than Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru roughly picked him up by his arm and whipped him over his shoulder. He dropped him off at a nearby shrine where he knew that it would be better than in the cold outdoors.

When Inuyasha woke the next morning, he had a head splitting migrane. The light streaming in from the shrine nearly blinded him. He tried to get up but fell to the ground in a fit of dizziness. He settled for crawling to the door and opened it to see where he was. The sun was shining fiercely and was accentuated by the pure white snow.

"_from then on, I knew that I would be alone for a good long time; perhaps forever. I didn't know where I would go or what I would do. So I wandered for the next 190 years. I don't know what it was that kept me living. It was as if a little voice kept reminding me, telling me: "keep living, it will get better." So I waited for that promise. I held on to it, and I intended to hold on to it for as long as I existed._


End file.
